A recent Fast Company article “5 ways to display Emotional Intelligence (even if it’s not your strong suit)” suggested: “Since the most important thing is how emotionally intelligent others think you are (rather than what you think of yourself), you must learn to come across as pleasant, likable, and emotionally balanced.” The article then outlines 5 ways to appear to be Emotionally Intelligent even if you are not by learning to control your personality and not exhibit behaviours that may suggest to others you lack EI.

Like any ‘Fake it till you Make it’ strategy, faking EI may work in the short-term but is not a sustainable approach for anyone in a leadership position. It might help you get that next promotion, but ultimately, you’ll be found out.

One benefit of this approach is it requires you to have some self-awareness. To know and understand your personality and then modify it to appear to have a higher Emotional Quotient (EQ) may actually start you on the journey to develop greater Emotional Intelligence and a higher EQ.

Emotional Intelligence is a complex topic, to be a good leader requires you to develop your EI. Understanding yourself and others, having situational awareness, having empathy and being able to communicate with others to engage, inspire and earn their trust are all hallmarks of leaders with a high EQ.

You can learn what having a high EQ requires, the next step is to consciously apply what you have learned. This first requires self-awareness and to understand why you think and act the way you do in different situations. It requires you to be present, tuned into situations and the actions of others. Then comes viewing these situations from the perspectives of others and reconciling then understanding their actions and behaviours. Doing this develops empathy and a foundation for developing your leadership capability.

I don’t believe you can ‘Fake’ EI, you may at face value be able to appear to have a higher EQ than you actually have, but you will get found out pretty quickly. The only benefit I can see in ‘faking it’ is that it may help you better understand yourself. This in turn may get you on the journey to understanding others and consciously trying to actually develop your EI further.

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